21.10.2016

CD REVIEW - Agnes Obel: Citizen of Glass

I'm sure this day is remembered as the day when Lady Gaga released her fifth studio album. I hope that doesn't have negative effect in another album released today.

I found Agnes Obel 1½ years ago and it helped me through dark days. Aventine album was released three years ago and it has calming dark sounds, lulling the listener to safe sad sanctuary. Her soft and strong voice combined with string instruments and piano play well together and sound is really charming. Needless to say, I was really excited when I hear about new album arriving.


Citizen of Glass continues the same dark path, but there are more playfulness included this time. I have to say that I'm not familiar with the previous releases, but seems like the new album has more electrical editing than Aventine. At first it sounded strange, but I really love it now.


Familiar was the first tasting from Citizen of Glass, released this June with a video. Sad and soft piano leads the listener to the fields of hope, you can clearly sense that this album is something new and bright.

This albums seems to come when it's needed to. Be it calm start for autumn days or tunes for the moments after dark. Songs are so beautiful in melancholic way, but not depressing. It's too early to say but I really hope this is the album of the year for me.

I'm leaving to Oslo tomorrow. Shame that Agnes Obel is performing there probably at this very moment I'm writing this entry. I really hope I get to see her someday.

20.10.2016

Polarity

They are seen as powerful and ready to act. They just seem to always know what to say and what to do. It might feel exhausting to even be near them, when they're always one step ahead. Their ambition could burn down cities.

But they aren't everpowerful. If the high-drive keeps going too long they will fall. Armours collapsing, unmasking their sensitive side. Vulnerability isn't familiar area for them, because they love to think that they don't have any weaknesses.

Vulnerability is a home for others. They seem to conceal themselves under sensitivity. The harmless, usually kept somewhere slightly out of sight. Either they want to be there where they find comfort or they're always trampled.

But don't you dare to underestimate them. Sensitivity doesn't mean they're weak. Not at all. They got all their fangs and nails ready.

What are they?

They are human.

15.10.2016

BIPOLAR, the hat collection

Last winter I had an internship in We Are the People. I worked with Oona Heleena who is the producer behind the collective. I've known her before the internship and working with her was just amazing. Her heart is golden and her creativity and ambition are sky high.

For the last assignment Oona wanted me to do a hat collection with a story. I planned to do three hats but ended up only doing two so speaking about collection might be a bit misleading. Oona took amazing pictures of my hats and she also painted model's body. The model is Simona Callegari, really talented and mindblowingly beautiful. The hats aren't that polished, I'm planning to upgrade them someday.


HYPOMANIA, the Warlord
This one is refashioned from a top hat from a masquerade shop. I used etamine to create the spiral. There's a little bit of red in every hat resembling lifeblood and surviving. Black is usually associated to depression, but I wanted to use it in hypomania hat to create powerful and sinister feel. Mental illness is constant state of war and this could be the hat of a warlord. There's a strange power in hypomania, suddenly there's no need to sleep or eat but you still keep going and doing.


DEPRESSION, the Orphan
You can't even see the hat I made, actually. I made a hood from grey leather using material from old jackets. This hat was collaboration with robe artist Tinttu Henttonen, she made the robes according to my visions. Where the previous hat was maniac warlord, this one is the orphan left to suffer in bombed ruins. Grey resembles sleepy and weak feel and heavy robes burden the head. There is hangman's noose among the robes near the ear like death whispering invitations to the wearer.

I'm still planning to do the third one to this series, celebrating white colour and hope, the reminder that you are the survivor and will get through whatever battle there is to come.

Read my previous entry about bipolar disorder: I Am Bipolar

14.10.2016

I Am Bipolar

Few days ago was the World Mental Health Day. I am here to tell you that I am bipolar. Bipolar Disorder includes depressive and (hypo)maniac periods, but it's just the top of a iceberg. It's possible to feel both at the same time and psychotic effect are usually part of both extremes, for example.

I have to give up on school because of depression episode I'm going through at the moment. Doctor gave me two months of sick leave and then in school they said it's not possible for me to continue studying after that. I would be too far behind with studies, it would be impossible to catch up. I can continue studying this curriculum next August if I want to. But I don't, clearly this is something I can't do with this condition

For me exhaustion is the biggest negative effect. Depression eats the will to do or even enjoy anything and hypomania uses too much of my vitality leaving me dead tired. During hypomania things are a bit more in control compared to mania, but hypomania can last longer and drive people to total exhaustion. It feels like happiness and joy but far too fast, that's why it's so dangerous.

And because life keeps bouncing between these two and also stages in-between, it usually feels like going in circles. I'm always learning and growing, finding ways to be in control of different situations but it's still hard to start again after shutdown. At the moment I'm sad that I had to resign from school, I feel defeated. But I know I need to rest my head now for awhile and then return with projects, ideas and inspirations.

Read my next entry about bipolar-themed hat project: BIPOLAR, the hat collection


1.10.2016

Aggressive Playlist for Darkening Days

Feeling exhausted under grey autumn sky? I don't believe in happy music, it doesn't cheer me up in these kind of situations. Fight darkness with darkness. I just created this Spotify playlist selecting powerful industrial-themed songs, including Skinny Puppy, Crystal Castles, the Soft Moon and many more.

Feel free to suggest more music for my new playlist!

OTCOBERROR